Diary

When I was a kid, I used to have many note books which I considered them as my diaries. I would write anything on it, my feelings, what happened to me on that day bla bla bla. But it didn't last long. I would write all those things only on the first two or three days after I got the book. After those days, I would keep the book anywhere and would not mind to search it again after. To make it worse, I bought a new book and made it as my new diary again. -__-

I still remember when I was given a small diary from my teacher. It had a lock and the book was so cute. As it was new and most importantly, it was given by my teacher,  I thought that I should use it. I would make it as my diary! I was all excited that I wrote on it on the very first day I got it. But you know... I was only excited on THAT day. Now.. where is my diary? *sigh*

I don't think I could keep a diary to myself for a long long time. I'd love to have a diary but I know I will not be able to write continously on it. I am very agree with my teacher's statement that having diary in english will improve our english writing. But I don't think it works for me because well, I'm too lazy to write a diary. The other way to improve english writing is by reading. Yes, read people! Maybe it sounds funny but hmm.. I'm going to tell my father to buy english newspaper for me everyday. I read it the other day and I went wahhhhh. I felt like it was so beneficial, at least for me. I think I should buy it from now on. Hope this will work. Hehe.

Hide your face, please!

Done with Trial SPM. I am freaking nervous and very scared with the result. I feel like I don't want to see the teachers of all subjects. I don't want to bump into them. I wish tomorrow is the holiday so that we don't have to come to school and I will not have the chance to meet them.

You ask me why? You probably know the answer already.

The examination is killing me inside. Do Trial has to be that hard? yeah, maybe it's just me who being overreacted but seriously the questions are not what I expected to be out in the Trial. Why I couldn't answer the questions properly. Why why and why. I almost cried when answering Add Math's paper 1! some of the questions are quite ridiculous,  don't you agree with me my friends?! Lucky that I could still hold my tears at school.. -_-

I don't even dare to see their faces. I feel like I have made sooo many mistakes to them. Thinking that they might be upset with me when marking my answer sheets tear my heart into pieces. I know that they will be disappointed with me even if they don't make it obvious in front of me.  I just know.

I'm ready to hear what they want to say. I have decided i will take their words as lessons. After all, those things will pass. If I'm afraid to face tomorrow,  it means I'm afraid to see the future.

Anyhow, i still can't let go of this horrible feeling though. May Allah ease me tomorrow and may my result will be good. Amin.

60 Days

Today is exactly two months before SPM begins. How time flies... at times, I do feel regret with many things around me and wish that I could turn back the time.  Sometimes I feel like I should have do this, do that so that things would be much better. Full of regret.. -_-

I know right, it's no use crying over spilt milk. But sometimes it's good for us to look back to recall what we have done and decide what should we do now to fix things up. If we could not make it in the past, we still have the future, right?

I am the type of person who is easily influenced by something. The obvious example is when I got low marks in any subject. The frustation.. I couldn't find any word to describe it. But I didn't stop there. I would break into tears and shared my feelings to my family(just to make they feel sad too? Haha) but I would make sure it all would come to a stop. I would stop cry and weep and all and forgot about it. It's like you put your broken heart into a box and tie it tightly and never open it in the future. I would encourage myself to move forward and never look back.

Life's short.. So taste bitterness with sweetness and taste sadness with happiness.. -Quote inspired by english's paper two question- ^_^