Working.. what's that?

It's been a month of joy for me or should i say a month of happily being lazy at home? I don't have to iron the school uniform anymore, i can wake up late than i used to do and etc. Hehehe i should stop this. So you know, everyone seems to get themself a job because well, money doesn't grow on tree. Any job would do as long as the money comes to you but this girl, this girl who writes this post doesn't pretty much aware of it. Anyhow, she does aware of one thing and that makes her hurt so bad- she can't buy something she wants that easy nowadays. *cries a river*

But i don't want to work or do anything that is related to it.. pfft.

Late

I think i was born to be late in everything. *cries* Seriously, if i remember one by one event in my life, it would be obvious that i am late in anything i do. While everyone at my age was already riding bicycle here and there, i was just learning how to ride it. Can't you see it?!

It doesn't stop there. It haunts me again. This time is nothing different. My friends ride motorcycle to anywhere they could and I can only watch from far. i have promised to myself that i will learn to ride motorcycle and yes, i have to fulfil it. I just learn it from my brother past week. I tried to ride it for real! Never once i did it in my life. Of course i could not do it perfectly yet but let's give me a chance. Insyaallah i can ride better and get the licence! Yippie!

Anyway, i have figured out that the only reason why i could hardly do it is because of the fear. Fear of this, fear of that. When you are feared of something, you have low confidence of yourself and that will result in your performance. May the fear go away soon.

Something from the past

This is funny. I can't believe i just read my old blog. I was so funny back then. Shame on me! it looked like i really really love blogging. Trust me, i really did. I posted new entry like almost every day. Seemed that my life was boring and obviously i had nothing better to do.  *facepalm!*

I used to write a long post on the old blog. Well, long than on this new blog.. Whatevs. It's because i was still new in blogging and crazy to blog everyday. Now you can say goodbye to the old me because i can never do the same anymore. If you realize, every entry that i post is either short or very short. There is nothing more than that. Am i getting weird and old? Who cares anyway. As you can see it, i am getting more serious about my life and am not going to waste my time to post new entry everyday. (Do you even believe this?!)

Well, i think i used to be a girl with many words because i loved reading blogs and novels. I got inspiration to write from there simply because when i read, i can imagine it and any sentences or phrase that i find interesting will stick in my head. That's how i fell in love with blogging. Reading is still my favourite until now and never lasts but i find it's so hard to write such a long entry these years. Remember i told you how hard i was to write an essay? Blogging and writing essay are much pretty the same guys. Once you stuck, it's hard to be back on track.  I don't know what have gotten into myself. Let's just say my life was boring and dull back then and now it's not anymore.

Anyway i kind of missing the old me. I'm not missing the part of me who loved to mengarut. I'm missing the part of me who is easy to write something and never worries to lose track. I wonder if i could be that one again after all these years.

Free and fun

Assalamualaikum. I'm back everyone.. with a great great feeling! :D

SPM is over! I am totally free now. I don't have to open the book anymore and it seems quite strange for me. Usually I spend my days with reading the books and doing homeworks and now I can spend the day scrolling through my handphone and watching drama on the laptop without feeling guilty at all. Hahahah. Life is so much fun now!

Anyway, although I am definitely free now, I have few things that I have planned to do on this longgg holiday. My friends keep talking about applying for driving license on Whatsapp. One of my friends already owns it! I want to apply for the license too so maybe next month is the best time? I want this holiday all for myself so I don't want to do anything yet during this time. Let me enjoy my time, can't you? Huh.

Enough with the license.  Other than that, I want to learn how to cook. Haha. This may sound funny but I am serious. Maybe I can learn it with my mom? Hehe. Most of the time, I heard people who are away from their parents are not good in cooking but I think it's the other way around for me. :p Never mind,  I'm sure I can be a good cook in the future. Just wait.. :D

Ohh the most important thing. This cannot be left out in the list. I want to gain weight. Desperately. I have to gain weight. People keep saying I'm too small for my age. I hear it almost everyday... from my sister. -__- sometimes it makes me scared a little bit that I would ask her, "am I really that small???" Haish.  What can I say. Yeah you are right... let me eat a lot and gain some weight. Let me surprise you with my new look. Whatevs. Happy holiday for me!!!

Diary

When I was a kid, I used to have many note books which I considered them as my diaries. I would write anything on it, my feelings, what happened to me on that day bla bla bla. But it didn't last long. I would write all those things only on the first two or three days after I got the book. After those days, I would keep the book anywhere and would not mind to search it again after. To make it worse, I bought a new book and made it as my new diary again. -__-

I still remember when I was given a small diary from my teacher. It had a lock and the book was so cute. As it was new and most importantly, it was given by my teacher,  I thought that I should use it. I would make it as my diary! I was all excited that I wrote on it on the very first day I got it. But you know... I was only excited on THAT day. Now.. where is my diary? *sigh*

I don't think I could keep a diary to myself for a long long time. I'd love to have a diary but I know I will not be able to write continously on it. I am very agree with my teacher's statement that having diary in english will improve our english writing. But I don't think it works for me because well, I'm too lazy to write a diary. The other way to improve english writing is by reading. Yes, read people! Maybe it sounds funny but hmm.. I'm going to tell my father to buy english newspaper for me everyday. I read it the other day and I went wahhhhh. I felt like it was so beneficial, at least for me. I think I should buy it from now on. Hope this will work. Hehe.

Hide your face, please!

Done with Trial SPM. I am freaking nervous and very scared with the result. I feel like I don't want to see the teachers of all subjects. I don't want to bump into them. I wish tomorrow is the holiday so that we don't have to come to school and I will not have the chance to meet them.

You ask me why? You probably know the answer already.

The examination is killing me inside. Do Trial has to be that hard? yeah, maybe it's just me who being overreacted but seriously the questions are not what I expected to be out in the Trial. Why I couldn't answer the questions properly. Why why and why. I almost cried when answering Add Math's paper 1! some of the questions are quite ridiculous,  don't you agree with me my friends?! Lucky that I could still hold my tears at school.. -_-

I don't even dare to see their faces. I feel like I have made sooo many mistakes to them. Thinking that they might be upset with me when marking my answer sheets tear my heart into pieces. I know that they will be disappointed with me even if they don't make it obvious in front of me.  I just know.

I'm ready to hear what they want to say. I have decided i will take their words as lessons. After all, those things will pass. If I'm afraid to face tomorrow,  it means I'm afraid to see the future.

Anyhow, i still can't let go of this horrible feeling though. May Allah ease me tomorrow and may my result will be good. Amin.

60 Days

Today is exactly two months before SPM begins. How time flies... at times, I do feel regret with many things around me and wish that I could turn back the time.  Sometimes I feel like I should have do this, do that so that things would be much better. Full of regret.. -_-

I know right, it's no use crying over spilt milk. But sometimes it's good for us to look back to recall what we have done and decide what should we do now to fix things up. If we could not make it in the past, we still have the future, right?

I am the type of person who is easily influenced by something. The obvious example is when I got low marks in any subject. The frustation.. I couldn't find any word to describe it. But I didn't stop there. I would break into tears and shared my feelings to my family(just to make they feel sad too? Haha) but I would make sure it all would come to a stop. I would stop cry and weep and all and forgot about it. It's like you put your broken heart into a box and tie it tightly and never open it in the future. I would encourage myself to move forward and never look back.

Life's short.. So taste bitterness with sweetness and taste sadness with happiness.. -Quote inspired by english's paper two question- ^_^

The Last Shot

"We are going to have english drama competition for state level this very Monday"

Whattttt????!

The competition is on this monday and we have just been informed today?? it's only 4 days left guys. Surprised, no? For this time, I don't really mind anymore if we loss or win. It's not like I can exclude myself from the team. Just forget all your excuses.  -_-

Let me bring you back to the previous district level competition that was held on May(if I'm not mistaken). It was held at smk Bukit Tunggal and my first time there.  Do I really have to tell this? -_- we were quite rushing because we were the first to perform the drama! Put some make up on, wore the customs and whatnot.. everything was in chaos. What more after the pendrive that contained the musics that should be played during the drama was nowhere to be seen! Such a problem -_- but on the second thought, it was an opportunity for us to take the time to settle everything.

So we performed the drama. Oh right I'm forget to tell you about the title. The title is Holka Polka. When I heard the title, I thought what's on earth is it? I have never heard that title before. -_- apparently the drama is about fairytale. Holka polka are the words that are used by  Brenda, the main character,  to curse people. She is the witch but she is not an evil and she tries to prove it to people in the story. So what's my role in the story?  Hehe. I am Cindy, sort of *cough* princess *cough*. Can you beIieve that?!
I don't have any options guys. HAHA

When the mc was about to announce the winner, all of my friends were so nervous. They badly want to win it. While me on the other hand, was praying secretly in my heart Oh Allah please don't let us win . I was too mean right (If any of my friends who joined the drama read this, I'm sorry! ) But let me be honest here, i really wished that would happen. But yeah,  we won. That's one lesson learnt. Allah won't grant bad wish... Anyhow, that was one of my big achievements after winning chorasical sketch the other day. Alhamdulillah.

So let's see what will happen this Monday.. either the victory is ours or not, it will definitely not affect me. Let's just do the best everyone!

Till then, XOXO

Love

There comes a time
When we have to be really strong
To face the fact and truth
To realize
people we love are not with us
They are somewhere
The place we can't reach
Though we can see them
We can do nothing
Seeing their faces are great enough
Even when mouth can't speak its words

I hope this is just temporary
Because it's worse
To bear
The burden is too heavy
We just cannot afford it

I know God is there for you
I pray to God
May He protect you from any harm

I'll wait for your return.
I believe Allah has the best plan for us.

Daydream

Last week my english teacher had asked us to write an essay entitled My Perfect Future Husband. Haha. The title is just.. i don't know what to say. I have never thought of this (I'm only seventeen! ) but I managed to do it though it was quite hard for me. Yes it was. Unfortunately I'm not good in daydreaming *sigh*

Anyway, initially I planned to put it up on blog since the title is quite interesting (HAHA) but it was not a beautiful essay like I expected so never mind thanks. Wait for another essay okay if only it turns to be a good one. It's so hard to impress people with our writing, right?

What I wrote in that essay was the qualities that I would like to see in my future husband. Of course none of them is true.  I don't have my own list yet. haha. :D

Till then!
Ramadan Mubarak everyone!

Lose

Everyone has their loved ones. The ones that closest to them. The ones that they always adore and look up to. The ones that brighten up their life. The ones that make their life nearly perfect.

And when that loved ones are all gone, they feel their life are not complete anymore. They feel like pieces of their life are falling apart yet they still remain strong. They know every person is not meant to stay here and eventually they will leave us for a perfect place. And they know they will leave this world too someday.

No worries

Exam is coming again.

Sometimes I wish I was a genius. I don't have to read over and over again, well, because i'm genius. I don't have to use calculator just to solve simple calculations because my mind is faster than calculator. I can remember anything in a blink of time what teachers teach in the class . You know, the character of Kim Hyun Joong in Mischievous Kiss.. He can be anything he wants because he genius and smart. It's so cool..

Sometimes I wish i could borrow my teachers' mind because they know everything! You ask them anything and they will answer your question. So amazing.. I thought.

Don't worry. These are just my wishes. Let's face the truth. I'm not genius and need to work hard to succeed. Okay?

All your hard work will be paid off. Insyaallah. :)

Till then,
XOXO

A bad narrator

Hi!

Today i learn about reflective essays which has made me miss my blog! So that's why i'm here right now. Really, writing and typing has no difference for me. They are all the same. Don't you think so?

As far as i'm concern, reflective essays are much or less the same like descriptive or narrative essays. It's called reflective because the essay is about the thing or event that is already happened in the past. I think it pretty much similar to narrative essays. The essay also should be in the first person point of view. It means the story is about you. Forget about the others. So i thought good, i should answer this question if it comes out in the exam. You know, i'm not good in writing and i must say writing narrative essay is the best choice for me. You can narrate whatever story that you like with your own style in your own way as long as it relates to the question. So all i can say, you are free to let your ideas flow when writing narrative essay.

So since reflective essays are much alike to narrative essays, i think i can make them as my second choice :D i don't know why  i always prefer to use the first person of viem; me in any story that i wrote. The only thing i know is i love writing about myself in the story. Hehe.

Till then, bye!

Nerve wrecking

Last Thursday was a big day for ex form 5's students as they received their SPM's result. Though i was not one of them, i could feel the feeling. The feeling when getting the result. I knew i would cry right at that moment if i did not achieve what i wanted for so long.

It freaked me out. I feel like i'm too far from my goal. My journey is still far. Such a long way to go and i'm still here.. I'm working slowly and slowly to reach there.

Awkward

On the way back from tuition, i had a really awkward moment. Yes, for me! So this is the story. My brother decided to stop at a burger stall to buy some and of course i want too. So he stopped the car beside the road near the stall. I stayed in the car while my brother went to buy the burger.

         Then, I glanced at an old woman with two kids who were sitting on a mat below the 'wakaf'. Nothing came across my mind at that moment. So, i just ignored them. Suddenly, after a few minutes, something popped in my head. My mind started to go here and there. I asked myself these questions while watching the old woman and two kids.
    'why they are here?'
     'why they don't go home?'
     'did her children neglect her and leave their kids with her?'
      'it must be hard for her'. Her children are so mean.'....

Later, my brother got into the car and i immediately asked him, "why do that woman and that kids stay here?". I continued, "don't they have home?" he replied, "she is my friend's mother in-law who is selling this burger. They come here to accompany them."

And i went ooohhhhh. Thank Allah my abang didn't know what i rambled about them before.
End the story.

XOXO

Walking on air

Tomorrow will be the first class after school and be continued on Monday and Thursday. I will face the same routine again after two years. The only different is this year i attend tuition. So that's it. Going to school, stayback for the afternoon class from 2p.m. to 4p.m., back home and go to tuisyen on the night and finally doze off.. It's nothing much actually since i have experienced these before. I only hope i can juggle between homeworks and study. I must say i'm pretty afraid of myself right this moment. I'm trying my best to study hard at the same time cherish the moment i have..

Anything for SPM..

Today's events.

After having chemistry extra class around 12.30 p.m.(need to learn more about alkana, alkena and so on!), i went home and took a rest. An hour later, i got ready to go to school again to attend a programme at UMT and finally went home at about 6 p.m.. Tired huh?

                        ----------

Today we had the closing ceremony of Let's Talk Let's Go Global programme. For your information, this programme started on June last year until December. The main objective was to enhance english communication skills among students. And that is one of the reasons why i'm blogging in english. You know what, the thing that makes me feel happy when attending ceremony in UMT is the gift given to the guests. Haha. I loved how they always managed to give us notebook apart from their magazine. :D

All in all, i had such a tiring day but i still felt the fun. I love taking pictures especially with lovely friends! XD

Once in a while

I'm feeling so demotivated lately. I feel like i'm going to fail in all subjects. I feel like all the knowledges i have are all gone. I almost give up. I almost convinced myself that i can't go on anymore. Huh. Luckily i didn't. A piece of me still wants me to fly higher and reach the top.

Because of the feeling, i pushed myself to do some homeworks today just to make me feel better. Luckily it worked for me. I don't want to feel like that forever. I need to always feel high spirited. I don't need that bad feeling. I'm sure bad feeling will affect us physically and mentally.

For this girl, she sures has to do some more homeworks tomorrow to make sure everything is alright!

Err. Hi?

I know i'm such a fickle minded. Yesterday i said this, today i said that. But whatever, i just don't think i can let this go. I feel like writing has been something i love to do though i know i'm not good at it and that my style writing is boring. Who cares anyway. I love blogging and that's all that matters. I'm not saying that i will always blog but if i have any free time, i will come here and post something new. Don't worry. SPM will always be my priority. And blogging will always be my favourite thing.

Let's pretend like i never wrote the previous post and you never read it. Deal?

Last Note

This post is gonna be the last from me. No more post after this. I think it's useless if i keep the blogger apps on my phone when i barely have enough time to open my phone. So, i think to uninstall the apps is the best choice. Yes, only Pou can entertain me after this -_- there's only 1 thing in my mind : to get straight A's in SPM. So, wait no more. I don't mind if it means to sacrifice the things i love. Just for once.

I want to come back here with big 9A's sign on my forehead and i can proudly say," Finally, I made it!"

Insyaallah. :)
Till then, XOXO

Let's run!

When I filled the Target for SPM's form, i had decided to target for the best. You can achieve the target or not, it's a different story.

The thing is your target. Being me, i always remind myself to aim for the moon. Really, you have to have high target then only you will work hard to make it real. If it still doesn't come in your way in the end, just accept it. At least, you have nothing to lose and shame is not on you.

Random Act of Mine

No more Facebook, no more Instagram and whatsoever. I still can handle these but.. No more Twitter?! *cries*

Decided to uninstall Twitter on my phone because i spent too much time on it! Seriously, i would open my phone just to read timeline -_- see how obsessed i was with Twitter. So for now i just have my blog since 'blogging as an escape'. At leasttt, i have something to entertain myself apart from Pou -__-

Whatever, i will install it back after SPM.

Nice to meet you, 2014

It's not February yet but there are lot of things that make me feel happy on this month. It's great to have the feeling, alhamdulillah.

First, i will only take 9 subjects for SPM. Haha. I'm soo happy to hear this :D Go away pendidikan seni. I was not born to be an artist. Well, we(my friends and i) decided to talk to the principal regarding this matter and there she went, "takpe. Boleh taknak ambik seni. Atas kemahuan masing-masing." who doesn't feel happy to hear that? If i knew it would be that easy, i would talk to her myself since last year.

Second, i decided to attend a tuition, only for Physic. I got B for Physic in final exam last year which is kind of heartbreaking. So i thought, attending tuition can help me to get an A for the subject. This is the second time i attend tuition since last 4 years. I didn't go to tuition when i was in form 3. But alhamdulillah i still managed to get straight A's. I talked to myself, " spm is way harder than pmr. Never take it simple." indeed, spm is never be the same as pmr. You be form 4's student and you will know. The situation is very very different. So i really hope tuition will be helpful to me so that i can score an A for Physic :)

Last but not least, i bought new spectacles. Haha. Thanks Muaz, you nearly destroyed my specs and thanks to you, i got the green light to buy new specs. Specs is like my life. Without specs, i don't think i can live a day without crying. I can't see this and that with clear sight. How can i survive? *sigh* I love my specs!

These will be the great memories to me. More to come insyaallah!

Till then, XOXO